I'm sorry you feel so disappointed in therapists. I've been lucky with all my ts and T2 in particular helped cultivate a very strong sense of myself. When I first started seeing her I was traumatised, insecure, suicidal, saw no value in myself as a person. She changed all that because she made clear she liked me as a person, believed in me, saw a huge amount of positive qualities in me, and showed me that it's okay to grow up and become adult and STILL get one's needs met, albeit in different ways. This T was so completely genuine as a person and obvious in her liking and care for me, that I trusted her 100% and grew from the work with her. It was definitely not a trauma bond but something very beautiful and real.

The work wasn't 'finished' with her due to the fact I have ongoing difficult life circumstances, but she was the T who enabled me to move from functioning permanently in child mode to actually feeling more adult some of the time. I saw her years ago, but I still think about her, miss her and appreciate the impact she has had on my life.

Could I have reached the same point with a close friend or partner? I very much doubt it. Who could have the emotional resources and ability to sit with me week after week and listen to my story, my feelings, without being burnt out or feeling resentful that I wasn't giving anything to them? This may well be possible for some people, but I simply didn't, and don't, have people in my life who are that giving. I needed a therapist, and now I need another kind of therapist (T4) who is very different, but wonderfully accepting and compassionate and loving as well. Did I say loving? Yes she genuinely is.

I wish everyone could experience the therapists I've had. I see so much disappointment, bitterness and anger about therapy in this forum - and I know there are good reasons why. I hope this brings hope that some therapy relationships are healthy and change people's lives for the better. Therapy seems to be better regulated in the UK from what I understand; not sure if this explains it.