My mother has a number mental health issues which from my research, seem to be a blend of the following:

Bipolar Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Anorexia

Her symptoms are extreme. She's currently living with my grandparents, who are in their late 70's. She's lived with them for about 5 years, and before that, she lived alone for 2 years - didn't work out and she moved back in with my grandparents. Before that 2 years, she lived with them for 4 years and before that, she left my dad to live on her own with my brothers, who paid all of the bills and worked. After my brothers went their separate ways and got their own apartment, she lived in her van at an abandoned house. My granparents found out because family members were complaining that she was calling and begging them for money, so they took her in. Before that, she lived with my dad, before they divorced.

Some of the behaviors she exhibits:
- Extreme anorexia - she weighs maybe 85lbs. She steals food constantly and chews and spits food and tries to hide it in the trash
She refuses to bathe - she has never been clean, and even lost all of her teeth due to poor hygiene and alcohol and smoking addictions
- She steals - she steals money and food from my grandparents (my grandmother has to sleep with her money and checkbook to keep it safe). My grandmother has to lock up money and food or she will chew and spit all the food in the house within a week. She also steals pills that my grandfather needs to live (he currently has galbladder cancer)
- She lies - she lies about looking for jobs and why she keeps getting fired from jobs, and she lies about where she goes and who she's with
- She has started and stopped several different college degrees over the past 15 years and racked up considerable debt that she refuses to pay back
- She's an alcoholic - if she can't get regular liquor, she will settle for mouthwash. We've even caught her siphoning diesel out of my dad's work truck to drink when no one would give her wine or beer - and she has gotten behind the wheel of a car while drunk on mouthwash and damaged my grandparent's vehicles, but she's never been "officially" caught driving drunk
- She's extremely jealous and clingy in relationships and generally latches on to other addicts who she thinks will support her. she periodically runs off with men like this, and then comes back to my grandparents a month later when they kick her out
- She has no respect for others' property - she's wrecked 2 of my grandparents' cars and she tracks food, dirt, body odors and fluids, cigarette butts and ashes everywhere she goes
- She's extremely defensive - when confronted about stealing or lying or destroying someones stuff - even if you catch her in the middle of it, she will deny it and blame everyone around her for being unfair and accusing her all the time
- She makes up illnesses for attention - if there's someone sick, she has to be sicker.
- She trashes my grandparents to anyone who will listen, while she lives on their limited income, destroys their property and steals their money.
- When she's angry, she follows whoever she's angry with around the house and yells and screams and rants. When I was a kid, she would do this, then run to the car screaming that she was going to kill herself and then disappear for a couple of hours
- She periodically threatens suicide but I've never seen her actually attempt it

My grandfather has late-stage gallbladder cancer and is currently going through chemo and radiation. My grandmother is dealing with that, plus trying to manage my mother while keeping some of these details hidden from my grandfather to keep his stress level down. They've put my mother on medication before after having her diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but now my mother refuses to go back to the doctor and refuses to renew her medication prescription because she doesn't think she has a problem.

Part of me wants to take her in and give my grandmother some relief from this situation, but I know my mother will destroy everything I have and steal from me too. She's 54 years old and getting worse. I don't think she will get better unless she is involuntarily committed, but I don't know if that's a possibility short of her actually trying to harm someone.

I'm really struggling between wanting to help her and wanting nothing to do with her. I know this isn't normal behavior and she's sick, but I can't help but dislike her, especially after a childhood of verbal, emotional and physical abuse with her. I want to help her and at the same time, help my grandparents, but I absolutely dread and hate being around my mother to the point that it makes me physically ill.

Has anyone had a relative like this, or had to involuntarily commit a parent relative? I'm at a loss for what else can be done. If they kick her out, she will definitely be homeless.

Please advise.