sept. is was here...

i think that when someone feels that someone has wronged them, they should...

1) take a deep breath and do over convo/actions in their head to make sure they understood correctly.

2) address the issue in p.m. or in instant message (if in chat).

3) if at fault, apologize. if the one being hurt either accept or deny apology and keep self safe. if at fault, the only thing that can be done is to apologize...then have no choice but to let it go. it's hard, i know.

4) do not involve other members. ask a moderator to mediate until things are worked out. however, if there is a long time trusted member to mediate, i think that would be good too.

things get blown way out of context when other ppl get involved. that's just my opinion from what i've watched here a couple of times. when other members get involved, ppl feel like they're being attacked...full fledged. it's hard.

just my opinion. i think disagreements should be kept between the ppl involved with a possible moderator. airing it scares some members (especially littles), alienates others, angers others, and for new members seeking help, it could scare them away.

i only say this as an observer...watching how things progress and why. i'm sorry if i offended anyone. this was NOT my intent. it's just what i feel is appropriate. i do realize that it may not be what others feel is appropriate.

i care so deeply for psychcentral and the members. it hurts me to see pain and upset here.

N