I am so sick of this disease. I try to explain it to H, my daughter, my sisters, no one "gets" it or even comes close. And what it means to be type I or type 2 or mixed all the time (my normal phase).

I struggle to explain, and I don't even have the words, not to mention H is very skeptical of the psychiatrists and therapists and taking medication. He says I'm making myself believe I can't do X, Y, Z without meds because some doctor told me so, but he didn't know me before I was on meds either; he doesn't know the countless sleepless nights, the all night buying sprees, the SI, the total immersion of the anorexia.

I don't think there IS a way to understand if you haven't lived it....

No words to explain. I've been going between mild manicky to at times scarily depressed (though it always passes, the joy of mixed, I suppose). But I can't tell anyone about it, can't explain, don't always know the triggers, and I definitely don't have the words, not to mention certain people would rather pretend it doesn't exist or talk about it as little as possible. It's been worse since treatment of my iron anemia (think the anemia is at the moment under control, but I really won't know how well the iron infusions helped until Sept. labs). Probably my body chemistry is all messed up by now

Sorry for the long vent.