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Old Jul 30, 2019, 07:13 PM
jaymoq jaymoq is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 156
Thank you Christina. I totally get wanting to be alone. It just sometimes feel like that is the constant state we’re in. I also have bipolar disorder so know how moods can fluctuate. Sometimes I too want to be alone. But if I don’t actively ask for his attention, he won’t give me any.

Today, I didn’t ask for any. To see how long we’d go without interacting. I have gotten nothing. Not even a minute. He has been in another room or outside the entire day. He has not said hello. He hasn’t spoken to me. When he sat down inside he just called his dog on to his lap and loved on her. I made us dinner and he said thank you when he ate it. Now he is across the room from me as I type this.... on his laptop. Not talking. Not engaging.

It’s times like these I don’t know what to do. I want to say “What is going on?” But I know he’ll only get upset. I know if I try to interact with him, he usually just gets up and goes in to the other room.

When I say clingy I mean, even giving me an hour of time is like pulling teeth. The only time he seems happy With me is when we’re watching tv or going out to eat or otherwise distracted and not talking.

I work full time, he works 5-10 hours a week and is on disability.I get maybe 2-3 hours of time with him on weekdays when I’m working. I just happened to have today off because I had a doctors appointment. So what I can’t understand is how 2-3 hours is too much. How having the house to himself most of the time isn’t enough.

Am I being selfish? I don’t know. It hurts my feelings. That he doesn’t seem to want to be around me. Interact with me. Talk. Play. Do anything. Except watch screens or eat food. Otherwise he is in his own world and I am sitting here feeling like I’m left out. The reason i am in a relationship is to share time and experiences with another person. I feel like I’m not doing that right now.

He says he loves me. That he wants to make me happy. But what if making me happy is spending time with me? Which doesn’t seem to make him happy.

Sorry guys. Feeling low tonight. I have been reading couples books and trying to be quiet and not talk and not say anything that could be interpreted as condescending or controlling (which he says I am).

I just don’t know how I can later tonight to lay in a bed with a man who hasn’t talked to me at all. And I don’t even know it’s intentional. He’s probably not even thinking about me at all. And this has nothing to do with me. But I just feel alone. And I know I can go make friends and I can go out. But that’s not what I want. I want my friend to be my partner. I want to be able to do those things with them. Yknow?
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