I'm OK right now. A weird kind of tired and stimulated at the same time, and I'm not talking about sexual stimulation. I know this is a paradoxical state. It's hard to explain.

My irritability and slight mood elevation have occasionally been problematic for me, in the past. Problematic or very detrimental. Most of the time I'm calm and sweet, then the Tasmanian devil shows up. I'm ashamed to say that I can sometimes reach the status of "customer from hell". Most of that is mood-related, some personality-related, and some Jersey girl related. Yes, some of us folks from NJ, Philly and NYC area are far from being meek. I did apologize to one customer service rep I spoke with today, about window replacements, but not the clerk I raised my voice at yesterday at McDonald's. Raising my voice was only part of it. When my mood gets elevated, it becomes more of a rant, like:

"What is this?!?!!!!! This coffee looks like a milk shake! I spent two minutes emphasizing in detail how I DON'T want McDonald's to put the creamer in my coffee! I told you that I want to put it in myself, that I only use one half of one teeny weeny itsy bitsy creamer single, that I'll strategically add myself. This coffee looks like it has one half of a cup of cream with a splash of coffee in it. I'm not going to drink this! I want a new cup of coffee. This time BLACK coffee. Then give me a creamer single on the side. Please!"

Yes, I know. I can be a Holy Terror! That's what mood elevation irritability can do to me. I'm really not like this when well, not that I can't be quite assertive. I will be staying home until this passes. I told my therapist that I'll start taking "as needed" Seroquel regular on top of my regular mix, if necessary.

I've had worse rants than I described above. Many worse. Once at my local international airport I refused to wait in the lines, and then stood at the front telling everyone that they would be asked to give a stool sample when they got to the customs officer. During these mood states, I don't even care that people are staring at me. Luckily, that airport is in NJ so they are kind of used to people *****ing.

I really am embarrassed to say these are true stories, and only just a couple among many.