Remember hearing that. Hope you can find it. I wonder if it doesn't relate to the fear that if we do something *wrong* there will or was consequences. So got to know the rules & obey them. Behaviour rules, manners, good in school, excellent at job etc. Recently learned there would be no repercussions if didn't answer the phone or door. Just cuz we didn't want to! First time we did it we sat in the bathroom thinking of excuses..we were in shower, out back didn't hear. Worried she'd see our car. Worried she would be mad, confront us. Knew we'd be in trouble if we didn't invite her in, offer coffee, converse all afternoon even tho there were things I needed to do. Didn't happen. Saying no is a whole other issue! Welcome to group.