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Originally Posted by healed84
I am still really upset about what happened with mc yesterday. I talked to h about it last night, and h and the t are of the thought that I wasn’t getting what I wanted in the session, so I threw a fit basically.
That is not at all why I left.. I was sitting in the room with two men, who would not listen to what I was saying. Two men decided the direction of that session.. and the t acknowledged that I felt unsafe, and could tell I was feeling something (I was triggered at this point). But mc just went on, down a path I told him I couldn’t go down that day.
The t apparently told my h that he had never had a client walk out on him before. Which I find hard to believe. Maybe, he meant that early on in a session, or that early on in their work together. He also told h that maybe another t would work better. At the end (h stayed a little while after I left) the t offered to reschedule with h alone and not for the both of us. So, I guess he doesn’t want to work with me? Though I am not sure.. what a train wreck.
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Ugh. I find this whole thing really upsetting. I have never done marriage counseling although H did come with me to one session and T turned it into a marriage session (that is the bulk of his clients). It was totally different. He was a facilitator and there to keep everyone safe. When he couldn’t tell how I was doing he “stretched ” and gently put his foot up to mine and threw me a nurturing side glance. When H got defensive T defused it.Ts #1 goal was to keep everyone feeling safe. Now, I know with his clients that come for marriage counseling he does have couples do exercises/activities that can sometimes invite clients out of their comfort zone but he would NEVER push a client to do it or get stuck on his agenda at the cost of another persons comfort. You are absolutely right to feel that you NEED to feel safe AND heard. Not want, need! You didn’t say you would never try the exercise (and even if you did he should have others that might feel safer) you said you weren’t there yet/that session. Ugh.
