Now with my son gone I am sleeping 10hrs a night (like passed out asleep not laying in bed depressed). The last two days my anxiety has been wonky, I am thinking it might be work stress. I haven’t emailed T this week because I haven’t needed to. I told myself I could call him tomorrow and wish him a safe trip and remind him I want to hear about it when he gets back, bonus points for pictures. Today though I am feeling SO needy and the anxiety is getting in the way of my self care. It is little kid needy. I don’t have words, nothing is wrong, I don’t even need/want anything from him except to be close. Curled up on the couch while he did paperwork, helping him clean, landscape... what ever, just close. I have the weighted lap pad that I made that matches his office. It usually helps but doesn’t seem to fit the “need” today. I can make my house smell like his office but that doesn’t seem right today either. I guess with son gone and my not feeling threatened working with T is going to feel different.
I also made an appointment with Pdoc. Not sure I need meds but I need a strong woman to talk to and help me with the stuff coming up with T. I need to figure out how to afford her though.