I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse; have been alone for 18 years now. Perhaps seeing another therapist while you are going thru the divorce might help. The wonderful thing about life is that you never know what might happen next....you may find friends and interests in Seattle, and find yourself feeling better....a little at a time. You sound like a wonderful person; don't give up on yourself...give yourself a chance......I am 72 and so dislike being alone, but I have hope; sometimes that is all you have.i