Awake in the middle of the night thinking about seeing you after work today and I need to go back to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well all month. I hate this. I want to run away again but I'm afraid to cuz what if you were right? I don't want to cause myself to have to have another surgery. I feel trapped again and I don't like it at all. I know I am not making any sense. Ok? I know that.