Hello Lian: Welcome (back) to Psych Central! One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link just in case you're not already familiar with it:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

You didn't mention if you're seeing a therapist although, based on what you wrote, it sounds like probably not. You wrote you wish you had a friend you could talk to about what you're experiencing. I have to say that, while having a friend to talk to would certainly be nice, my experience at least tells me that friends can't often be of much help with these sorts of things. It's a rare friend who has both the willingness to listen as well as the skill to reply constructively. That's why so many of us turn to therapists to work on our mental health concerns.

Here are links to 3 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of emotional abuse plus 1 on childhood emotional neglect:

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Recognizing Emotional Abuse

Victims of Emotional Abuse

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.