Hello all,

First.. This is my first post on here. Glad to be here

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So.... Obviously this is in the psychology section so you may have an idea as to where this is going.

My life, all the way from early childhood has been extremely challenging.

From what my parents considered good (Doctors, Medications) all the way back when I was 8 up until now has been borderline chaos/torture. My mother has many mental health issues even though she is either unaware or in denial. My father is the big on avoidance, he doesn't like to talk. Generally, they have done many things in an attempt to "help" me as even though most of the time it just involved putting me on medication. Basically, I feel the lack of having any stable mother or father figure growing up; or their guidance in life. My brother and sister are essentially strangers to me.

I have made many mistakes. Did well in school sometimes, managed to graduate high school.

At this point I am trying my best (at the age of 24) to go to college so I can make something of myself.
With basically no financial assistance from anyone, emotional support from family or friends and the general sense of feeling alone in this world.... I'm loosing any glimpse of hope I may have had left.

I had been diagnosed bipolar at the age of 21, of course the doctors continue to dump more pills down my throat. Side note, the medication "helps"... but I frequently still get either very depressed (to the point of being suicidal) or slightly manic (when I spend why to much money and dig an endless hole of financial debt)

Generally, I try to be an optimist. Assume that things will work out as long as I put in the effort. I'm just so physically and emotionally tired at this point, I don't know how much longer I can take it. I have goals, just like everyone else. I dream of a future not necessarily of complete luxury but simply being able to support myself and have a half way decent life.

There's other side notes but I'll leave them out for the sake of keeping this rather short.

More or less, being 24 now, I feel as if I have failed because I have to live with my family for the moment due to my own personal circumstances. I recognize i'm trying, but progress is slow.

I guess what my question is overall... How do you keep going without either having a complete breakdown or committing suicide?

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this as I really don't have anyone close to me of whom would listen. It really means the world, you have no idea.