Saw L today. I brought in some poems that I found which I wrote when I was 13. She read them outloud to me. It was so sad. Sad hearing what a 13 year old girl had to deal with, sad for myself, and sad that I'm still dealing with all of it. 24 years I've been dealing with this. Even L said "no wonder you're tired". Just a sad day today.

I did ask L if I could stay with her longer. She said yes, but she would have to look at the "logistics". From what I understood, she wants me to pay her full rate. H is okay with that, but he doesn't want me going weekly. I "think" L is going to require me to go weekly. If that happens, my H said no or I have to get a job.

And L said something today that really hurt. She said if I need more support then what she can provide me with, then we'll have to do twice a week. She knows my H would never go for that. So I feel like she's threatening to leave me if I can't go more often. I did email her about this. I hate talking about money.