This is where I absolutely boned myself. I have this weird sense of justice and can't handle not doing what I think is the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is not actually the right thing, but I only find out long after the fact.
We bought the house before we married. The house, the utilities, the insurances, the bank account, everything was in his name. He claimed that he had been burned before by having shared property and finances. Me being the forever optimist said "nothing will happen to us, we are solid" and acquiesced. He asked me to stay home and care for the the family and the house. I had a couple side gigs I did for extra cash (ghost writing, mural painting, work van flipping, tax prep) and I was paid either in cash or the checks were made out to him. I used that to cover the utilities, most of the groceries, and a few extras here and there. There was not a scrap of anything with my name on it.
I did consult legal counsel and while the lawyer was certain I could eventually be awarded part of the estate even without a paper trail, it was going to be a long battle that I had a small chance of losing. My sense of justice, because I'm an idiot, didnt want to.put my husband through all that. He had asked for a peaceful divorce and I wanted to give him just that.
I did lose everything. I had such a great kitchen, all these cool gadgets, a beautiful set of dishes, some antique glassware, top of the line stainless cookware etc. I honestly thought since he was giving the house to my daughter and her boyfriend I would have plenty of time to retrieve the rest of my things once I finally settled somewhere. I guess the best laid plans of mice and men.

Originally I was asked to leave the home in 2 months time. Once my daughter learned that he intended to have me out of the house she asked to be handed the mortgage. He struck a deal with her that if she paid the utilities and took care of the house he would continue to pay the mortgage for her. Her first order of business was notifying me I had two weeks to collect my things and get out. She was in a hurry to be an adult finally. To have her own home, play house with her boyfriend. I left.
Most of my things that were not with me or appliances were thrown out. My winter clothes, my astrosonic stereo, all of my kitchenware, books, games, tax prep stuff, all of my mural materials gone in a weekend.
Needless to say that arrangement didnt last long. They did not take care of the house and after a couple months they moved out leaving behind wall to wall garbage and pet refuse, oh and a perfectly good car that just needed new tires. My husband gave her 2 weeks to have the car moved from the street since they moved into an apartment only a few blocks away. She refused.
The car title was still in my name. I had bought the car with the intention of giving it to her as a gift for her 18th birthday, but when that day came and went she still had no intention of getting a drivers license so it sat. I was notified that if I did not remove the car that she left behind it would be towed. I currently live 8 hours away so it was a tough trip back to the car. I did not have the money to buy new tires, and get it legal and insured, nor did I have any permanent place to keep it. I towed it my parents house two hours away and told her that she had a month to at least tell me what she intended to do with the car. Nothing. She refused to speak to me, claiming I stole her car, and moved it too far away. My only recourse was to sell the car. Instead of handing her the money for the car I gave it to my husband to pay down the utilities that were still in his name that she had skipped out on. Needless to say that didn't go over well with her.
She believes I took from her what was hers and that is worthy of severing contact.
I tried very hard to do what I felt was the right thing in all of this a d all of it has simply bitten me in the ***. I dont understand what motivates people to make the decisions they do. It has taken me nearly all my life to realize not everyone is so adamant about doing the right things all the time.
My daughter and I have had a strained relationship ever since her father lost his battle with addiction. It was difficult raising a teenager that I knew had no love left for me but even still I did not expect an ending so abrupt.
She and my husband have a very good speaking relationship even after all the mess, and in part I think she distances herself from me because she knows i can't help her financially but my husband will. In essence i think she felt like she had to pick a side, and no one willingly picks the losing side.
I am not blameless in this. I am reluctant to admit I do hold some bitterness in all this. I forgive her, but the silence is likely for the best right now. In time she will come around I hope. I think maybe too this is for the best since I'm not in the best of health or mental health these days. For years she has ridden the rollercoaster of my mental and physical health s
Issues with a sort of detached apathy. I never wanted that for her and still don't now. I'm not mad at her, I guess maybe I even understand.