I agree with the nanny McPhee thing. I think it’s really nice of him to let me know that it won’t be a “never see you again” situation though. It also tells me that, unlike all my other T’s, he is taking my attachment stuff seriously. I am still in touch with most of my kindergarten class (early 1980’s), I am still in contact with several teachers/staff from my high school (1992-1996) and from college (1996-2000). I also have vivid memories of a lot of people from my childhood that I would love to run into but have lost touch with. T is actually 30 or so minutes from me in a different town and county but the group of people with this shared interest all seem to know eachother. H hasn’t done it in several years so he doesn’t know anyone any more.

I also have a friend who said the goal of parenting is to raise your child into an adult you’d like to hang out with. I kinda see some of this with T too... that if I was still clingy, needy, and wounded I wouldn’t be fun to run into... but if he does his job right and helps me be healthy/whole then it might be nice to run into each other now and then. It would be pretty normal at one of these events to chat for a few minutes, catch up on basics and get a hug.

Either way it got T brownie points with H because it is a kind of expensive hobby. I already told H we could do it but now H knows I have ulterior motives and will actually pressure him to follow through and get into it again.

H and I are having a date night at one of the events tonight but I know T is at a different one out of state this weekend.