Well... I'm not really sure what to say about this. From my perspective, all I think I can say is your brother needs to do what he needs to do. And your mother has to do what she has to do. That's the end of it. 
What do you do with your anger? I think the obvious answer is to work through it with the help of a skilled mental health therapist. But then here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of how to let go of anger:
4 Ways to Let Go of Anger
4 Tools For Letting Go Of Anger
7 Tips to Control Anger
Free Yourself From Anger, Hurt, And Resentment NOW | Sorting Out Your Life
My best wishes to you... 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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