So, true. I am not sure if this normal or constructive, but I feel I need to revenge from them. To make them feel they made a mistake by ignoring me and treating me with contempt, and success is the best revenge as they say, but then self-doubt thoughts start to take over my thought process from nowhere, that I will never be successful and be somebody and respected, and my past experiences are the witness, and others will always laugh at me and treat me with contempt, and feel they are better than me, and use me as an example for their success how they made it while I failed.

I don't know why I am full of self-doubt and have incredibly very low self-esteem This keeps me from progressing, from keep trying. I abort any action before it starts because I cannot see myself succeed in anything anymore. The rejections I've received during the job hunt process has made things worse. I think I've lost much of myself esteem during the job hunt process. It's made me feel useless and not valued professionally, which has made me feel like I am a completely useless person at all levels, socially and professionally.

When I moved in with my parents 2 years ago because of my financial situation, I didn't leave their home. I was ashamed and felt so little. I wasn't even going out of my room and sit with people who came to visit my parents, because I was afraid to be asked why I am not working An uncle of mine told me once "you are not good". Well, thanks for the encouragement, uncle, and for confirming my negative self-image. Needless to say the endless fights I had with my father, because he thought I am just lazy and didn't want to work. It was a nightmare period for me. I almost cut off the relationship with my parents after I left. Now I keep it at bare minimum.