Thanks for your post, and welcome. I experience the same thoughts and feelings that you expressed so well in your post. I get the same water feeling- getting pulled down, pulled out. Glass falling as well. Result of shame, sadness, fear, as you pointed out.
Sounds like you’re managing it and working through it.
In a flare up it’s easy to forget that there is good stuff, that things are probably going to be okay.
It’s reasonable to be sad sometimes and cry because life is full of sad things and we’d be calloused not to feel them. I’m exhausted of my traumas right now and feeling cranky because of it. It can be frustrating to express and expel such complex thoughts and feelings.
But, i do believe I’ve been healing, and that healing is possible.
I like your swimming vs boating analogy, and the idea to fix the boat with new skills. Good visual. I hope you have been feeling better