Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins
You say several times things like "doesn't he already know how I am feeling?" "Why should I even have to tell him; he should already know?" Again, what is obvious in our internal experience may not be obvious to the person we are relaying our experience to, even a therapist. We assume our internal experience is universal, but in actuality, it isn't. It could very well be that your internal experience is quite different than someone else who went through a very similar trauma. A therapist can't assume your feelings; all he can do is inquire. I would go as far as to say it is dangerous for a therapist to assume he knows a clients emotions and thoughts.
Because you are feeling that his objective reaction feels like judgment to you, talk to him about that. It is important fodder for therapy. There is a reason that having a therapist actually be completely nonjudgmental in his response FEELS judgmental. That's worth asking about and exploring with your therapist.
|
I hear what you are saying about expecting him to know how I feel. I didn't mind the initial question about how I felt about the encounter. But then when I told him the (obvious) answer that is was humiliating, i didn't think he would need any more explanation since I had spent lots of time with him before laying out my feelings about sex. It is well established that I find it humiliating, of course this instance when I sold myself, especially after being all prideful in time past about fighting off propositions was going to be humiliating. It was all so well established by that point.
It is almost like if I had agoraphobia or something and spent many sessions explaining why I am afraid to go outside, then I mention a story about how I wanted to go somewhere yesterday but was afraid to go outside. Then if he asked "Why?" at that point, I would be thinking "Have you been paying attention?" That was how this felt. I was confused as to why he would need more explanation, and also embarrassed that he didnt seems to see anything about it that could be humiliating, and yet there I was feeling all affected. Like omg how pathetic am I? I just dont think I should have to feel like this every time I bring up a sexual trauma. It makes me not want to talk about it with him any more.
I also hear you about how his objective response feels like a judgment. I have been thinking about it from this angle too and should probably bring up this aspect of it. I am working on figuring out exactly how I want to approach this. Thanks.