You never talk about your family of origin. But i can relate to a lot of the things you listed here, so i wouldnt be surprised if there were some similarities in how we were raised.

My mother always pushed the idea that we were the best of all the relatives - they were the best parents, we were the smartest and tallest and most talented kids, also the oldest (except for the ones who were older, but they didnt really count for some reason!) - and i bought into it.

This did not serve me well when i entered the real world. Im not sure i ever DID enter the real world!

The seminar How to win friends and influence people showed me that i did not consider other people equal to myself, and that THAT WAS HURTING ME. That was holding me back in life. I fear the same thing is happening to you.

You dont need to surrender ALL judgment. But it is simply not true when you say:

It is stating the truth about others. Not my fault if they are legitimately this way.

You dont own the truth. You own YOUR truth, but not THE truth.

THE truth is offputting. Sharing YOUR truth honestly may be interesting and friend-making.