Earlier today, I decided to finally call my father to say hello. I hadn't seen or talked to him since my uncle's funeral services 3 1/2 weeks ago. He hadn't called me either. When I reached him, he said he was not doing well at all (mood-wise). He barely said anything, which is not like he used to be when he was a well man in years past. I tried to keep the conversation upbeat and encouraged him to sit in his gazebo.I didn't mention anything about his drinking or meds, or anything like that.. It wasn't long before he felt unable to continue our conversation, so passed the phone to my brother. I hadn't really planned to talk to my brother, since I saw my brother for several hours this past Friday. My brother said he was spending time with Dad because he was concerned about his mental well-being. I'm afraid it is just a matter of time before my father ends up in the psych hospital again, or worse. My sister said as much when I talked to her this past week.

My father is a typical case of a person with a serious mental illness who tries to deny it. I write "tries" because he knows, but doesn't want to accept. I realize that's a contradictory statement. I think you know what I mean. Stigma! He drinks because he is depressed, desperate, and scared. My brother told several doctors at the three hospitals, my father ended up in a couple months ago, that we have a strong family history of bipolar disorder. And yet, my father would only accept an antidepressant and a blood thinner for his leg. And now, he doesn't even take them because of his drinking.

Dad has piles of unpaid bills from his last hospitalizations. We don't know if he doesn't pay them because he's unable to handle such things, or if he refuses because he tries to deny the hospitalizations ever happened. He has sufficient money to pay them. That's not an issue. We know he doesn't want to end up back there, or at least he told my brother that he NEVER wants to go to the "psych hospital" he was initially placed in again. The last two hospitals did try to address his psychiatric issues along with detox (though poorly), but they were officially general hospitals (just with psych wings) and not bona fide psych hospitals. To him there's a difference. It's a real shame, though. The psych hospital he went to is an especially good one with especially comfortable wings in a bucolic environment with peacocks and other animals roaming the grounds.