It could be too much for him to think about, makes him anxious so he concentrates on little things he can "control". It can be hard to give up one's dreams and look at the reality of things. I'm like your husband I think :-) It is good he has you.

Can't you get out of the contracts for a fee? I wouldn't go ahead if it's going to compromise the house; I'd lose the contract fee and save up a bit more or whatever.

Any idea how you're going to alter things? Half bath instead of full, one less room, obviously not a special floor in the garage :-) Maybe wait to build the deck? It's expensive isn't it? We had to have our deck replaced and balcony and screened porch made into a 3-season room and it was over $20,000.