My many hospitalisations have traumatised me, especially the one in February this year when I was mixed/psychotic. I have experienced flashbacks which can be very stressful. A month ago I was hospitalised for SI and PTSD/mixed symptoms. Being in hospital again freaked me out so I raced to get discharged. This led to me leaving too soon and struggling intensely when I got home. Now I’m doing all I can to not be hospitalised again. Still, I would put myself through it again to keep myself alive. That is the most important thing.