Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild at heart
I like that your T’s encourage you to discuss anything you might be angry about. I’m in two minds about accepting the ‘good enough’ T. I think that sometimes in relationships it’s good to assert yourself and not take any crap. Maybe the T relationship is a good place to try out doing that. Also perhaps we should have high expectations of what we get from them? They are professionals and we deserve to have high quality of therapy from them.
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I totally agree with this too. I pay him a LOT of money (I have to work 14hrs for each hour I see him). Too often with previous T’s my expectations were not high enough and to be honest, in hind sight the did not “earn their keep”. I think part of my process this go around is what do I expect to get as a service from that investment. I have started seeing him as a consultant which was the field I worked in before I left work for family.
One of the tough ones for me is how often he is out of the office. He canceled one session abruptly when his grandchild was born but he warned me for a month that when the baby was born he was taking a couple days off and then he has gone on vacation one week. The other absences are about 50/50 between working at a different program and professional development. Professional development makes him a better T for me but he still does a lot more of it than is required. The weeks away, like this week, where he is working out of state are the ones I struggle with the most. I have been honest that while I am not jealous of his other clients I am very jealous about his time at this other program. This week I really need him and he is there the whole week and more available to the clients there than he is to me even when he is in his office. So yeh, these ones bug me.