Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
I am not 100% sure I want to change it. But perhaps I will have to if my goal is to make friends. But then I think, do I want to make friends with people that need to be coddled this way? I suppose I am just disappointed that doing a good job and working hard offends so many seemingly normal people. The irony is that I hold back my sincere wish to lecture them on their many failings to keep the peace so I wonder sometimes if I should just let it all out.
I have the problem at work as well. But not as bad. But I still don't understand why at work I am always the "oh if she is around" but never top dog.
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That's kind of what I was going for - is this just this two places, which are sort of superimposed? And do you really want these people as friends? Maybe better to look for real friends in other places with people who do hold the same values, and just let these people be coworkers and neighbors - on friendly terms, but not close.
In regards to "oh if she's around" do you actually want to be "top dog" in the popularity pool? Is this affecting your work quality or getting promotions, etc? Or is this solely about the water cooler/happy hour/extracurricular stuff with coworkers?
I think you're right to determine if it's even something you care that much about or what you want your level of "friendship" to be with these people. But I also think it would be good to find some people who "get" you so you don't feel "snubbed" (for lack of a better word) by neighbors and coworkers that you don't seem to like too much anyhow.