Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
There are plenty of hanging out social activities that I do without any kind of bonding, just for fun or cultivating hobbies.
I dont know if they need to understand or no. Sorry, I am not interested communicated directly or indirectly (depends on the circumstances) works just fine for me.
I really dont understand the issue. If you want to learn how to bond, its a valid concern (although I honestly dont think one can learn that). But if your concern is how to get people off your back, its fairly easy to accomplish imho.
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I don't think I'm explaining this very well. Let me see if I can make some distinctions.
You maintain healthy boundaries with people because you know that you don't want to emotionally invest in a closer relationship with that person. You state your intentions with them clearly so that they don't invest in something that won't be reciprocated. You say that you don't care about their feelings, but I doubt you'd deliberately form a close personal relationship with them solely for some material gain or information, carelessly trample over their feelings and boundaries, and then simply vanish.
I get close to people or allow them to get close to me because I'm interested in them or interested in something they have, despite knowing that their feelings won't be reciprocated. I treat gestures of friendship or romance rather carelessly because these things don't really mean anything to me. When I'm in a casual conversation with someone, I'm inclined to dig for more personal information because I find it to be more interesting. I have trouble respecting peoples boundaries, to put it mildly.
Now, I could simply avoid people as you've suggested, but that's kinda dull, and I just don't do that. So I'm trying to find some middle ground where I can be open about myself, but also learn to respect people's boundaries to a degree.