Yes, ~Christina is ABSOLUTELT right, @Crazygrl882. Please listen to her. You deserve better. He doesn't deserve you. Please allow yourself to move on from him. I am SO SORRY that you're hurting SO MUCH, my friend! I hope you'll make the BEST decision for yourself and decide to dump him for good. It would also be a good idea to see a Therapist in my opinion so that you can work through ALL of this. But that comes later. First, just leave him for good. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve MUCH, MUCH better. Please be kind to yourself! There are plenty of resources available for people who have been through Abuse or bad relationship experiences. I hope you'll make the BEST decision for yourself! Sending many safe, warm hugs for BOTH you, @Crazygrl882, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!