My therapist has told me that she loves me, as unlikely as that might sound to us all.

I experience maternal transference and we have spoken about me loving her. She was clear that she did not love me and that she is uncomfortable with me applying the word love to her. She was also clear that this was not particular to her feelings about me and that she is also uncomfortable with the concept of love in her personal life. This obviously forms part of her work for her personal therapy, but it was painful for me and my shame surfaced. It is common for her to be transparent about her feelings and about her process. She discloses a fair amount.

In the last session, she told me that things have changed for her, that our relationship has developed and that she loves me. As easily as that.

I have worked hard at accepting the pain of loving her and that not being reciprocated (along with negotiating the potential retraumatising effect of being unloved). I have worked hard at maintaining trust with her and at appreciating the safe boundary of her not loving me. And now she's changed her mind and I am angry and suspicious. I don't know if the work is this difficult by design or if she is messed up and is mismanaging our relationship.

I posted about this on reddit a few days ago and the responses were exclusively cautionary or negative: that it is a red flag, that she is unprofessional, that she has breached boundaries by both telling me and by the way in which she told me. I figured that my learned friends and colleagues here might be more open to the idea of a therapist loving a client. What do you think? Do you want to hear this from your therapist, how do you feel about the idea of hearing it? Has your therapist said it to you and what is your emotional response?

I have a sense that I could feel comforted by it, but I actually feel uneasy.