My past has such power over my emotions, bad, empty memories....I'm always second guessing myself, is this the same me?

I don't like my past of loneliness and emptiness yet hey, that WAS WHO I WAS THEN.

I feel like living a happier, more social life is denying that part of me I was for so long, dismal as that girl was.

I'm trying to picture that younger girl I was, clinging to ways to fill my life without friends, trying to find meaning when life seemed, in short, to have absolutely no meaning at all...I try to picture her, then giving her over to a guardian angel, who lets her go into a world where she is more suited..

...then the me as I am now comes out and starts living, finding meaning effortlessly in everything..

but I do believe I need something more visual to discard these bored and anger turned inward memories..

perhaps I need an art therapist? Any websites about art therapy ( something low cost I can research on my own)

Or how do people visually help themselves, how do we become products of our past.......and not prisoners of our past.......