I would be hurt by this response as well. However, he does make a valid point: why are you trying to control him? You're trying to make him into something he's not. You have the right to ask for a change, but it's up to that person if they're willing to change.

In the beginning of my relationship with T, I asked her if she could try to be more expressive with her facial expressions. She tried, but in the end she said no. She did give me a reason: if she concentrated on her facial expressions, she couldn't concentrate on what I was saying.

Maybe part of the reason this is bothering you is because you don't understand why he can't get up. It does seem weird he's not willing to make that change, but I guess it's his own personal issues (though I can't really think of what issue it could be).

You know it's up to you to either accept his shortcomings or to reject it and move on. Personally, I don't understand why you're with this guy. He seems to give you more grief than what you're already dealing with. But I do understand attachment and transference. You're in a tough spot, LT.

If it were me, I'd go to session and try to figure things out. Then sit with it for awhile and see if you can accept his position.