I won’t lay down the full story since it will be very long and plus, I don’t even know what exactly is wrong with me.

I am 22 years old and is identified as INFJ type. I am quite different from those around me. I tend to have stronger moral code than normal and do everything thing I can so as to NOT inconvenience others. I would play a thousand scenarios in my head before I would say or do something. If someone does or say something that bothers me, I would try to think from all their perspectives and try to understand them. This makes me have “battles” in my head constantly. I would try to justify someone’s/ or my actions which would clash with what I am feeling about the situation. For example, my dad has trust issues due to his past and I can understand that but having that interfere with his current relationships is wrong. I know this and yet I find myself questioning it over and over again. Is he wrong? Or am I wrong? This kind of things can happen to small daily things as well so it is really frustrating. I am told that I am very defensive as well.

Also, I had some family problems about 4 years ago and since then, I have been having some problems. One is gas pain which doesn’t go away and gets worse with stress. There are also some situations and thoughts that can make me go into a mini emotional breakdown. All the negative thoughts come to me whenever I do something wrong or not up to my standards. Even things out of my control can make me feel like a failure. I have the urge to punish myself somehow. Sometimes, I am quick to accept that something is my fault when I know it is not (or maybe it really is my fault. I don’t know. It hurts my head to think about it). I am still functioning. I study more than others, help others with their studies, am involved in multiple club activities, do well in exams and more. My mood and enjoyment is more of inconsistent ups and downs. Basically, negative thoughts come when I am having a break from all those busy stuff. Once I slow down, it is really difficult to get back on track. But when I am in the middle of it, I seem fine (as long as nothing goes wrong or I don’t get “triggered”). I just make sure to get things done. So even though I feel like I need help, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say if I go see a counselor. I mean... I seem fine? I feel fine as long as I am not in one of those moods. I can laugh and forget about my worries. But when I am not fine, all I want to be is alone. What is wrong with me and what do I do?