Thanks everyone - but I feel like I am hitting the bottom again. Here I sit crying uncontrollably and trying to type - what a joke. I'd laugh if I could.

I saw my T today and I'm not sure what set me off and I'm sure it really doesn't matter. I feel so f******g worthless and what ever little light I had glimmering in - is gone. It's black.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. I just want to curl up in bed, pull the covers up over my head, cry and disappear. But - I've got too many things to do and it doesn't seem to matter that I feel like *****... I still have a life to live, a family to take care of, and a job to do.

The more I think about all the things I "have" to do - the more I just want to scream. I don't know where I'm going anymore.