Do you think there has to be a minimum amount of damage/pain to be considered "self-harm"? Is it the intent that matters? When someone bangs a fist on a table because they are angry is that self-harm? How about pinching yourself to keep yourself awake?

I guess the reason I ask is because I'm trying DBT...and yes, self-harm is one of the things that I want to stop. To be honest it isn't even in the top 10, but DBT therapists seem to be big on stopping it. My self-harm is usually very mild. I'll stick a paperclip into my skin just until it hurts a little, but not enough to break the skin. Today I banged my head against the wall. It didn't hurt. It didn't even hurt afterwards even when I pushed on it.

I just don't know if that "counts." I don't want to write it down if it doesn't count because she's kind of a jerk sometimes. But I don't really want to lie either.

I have self-harmed where I break the skin or bruise myself, and I would definitely count that, but it seems like kind of a grey line to me.