Well that's just it, no one can decide it, in my view it's an intuitive thing that emerges from the space created by that T and client in a certain moment in time. Obviously Ts get it wrong all the time when they misread the situation, but I feel that oftentimes these things emerge when there's a deep connection there and it just enhances it. No one can scientifically study that, it's a deeply personal thing.

Well to give an example, I gave my first T something I'd written as a child, involving someone called Amy. At the end of the session after she had read it, we had our usual hug (T always hugged me at the end) and while hugging me she said 'Do you know what Amy means?' to which I replied no, and she said 'Amy means loved'. Then she hugged me even tighter and repeated 'Loved.' The way she said it, the way she held me at that moment, said it all. Current T was even clearer but I don't feel comfortable sharing that just in case, God forbid, she reads here, as it's something I imagine she might do.

I like words too, but some things go beyond words. I find that words can over-analyse and take something away from the feelings and the space that exist. It is very hard to explain if you haven't experienced it. For me, knowing I am loved fills a need and I didn't need to talk about that at that time. I might need to hear it again, I might crave a discussion about something else involving it (and probably will) but in that moment, there was no need for anything to add to it.

This is just my experience though! Yours is unique to you. We're all on different journeys.