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Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
I posted about this on reddit a few days ago and the responses were exclusively cautionary or negative: that it is a red flag, that she is unprofessional, that she has breached boundaries by both telling me and by the way in which she told me. I figured that my learned friends and colleagues here might be more open to the idea of a therapist loving a client. What do you think? Do you want to hear this from your therapist, how do you feel about the idea of hearing it? Has your therapist said it to you and what is your emotional response?
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i saw your post on reddit and was one of the members who contributed to the responses to your OP. from what i read, many who did respond to you were coming from a place of concern, including me. this was especially true in regards to how your T suddenly changed her tune about loving you when prior it was clearly a 'no go' zone for her to discuss or acknowledge. it's this kind of 'flip flopping' behaviour from a T that sends up the red-flags. my T 'flip flopped' a lot in the relationship with him and at times failed to recognise how damaging this inconsistency could be to the trust and the sense of safety in the relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
I have a sense that I could feel comforted by it, but I actually feel uneasy.
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one thing i have definilty learned after many years of therapy is to listen to and honour what my gut is trying to tell me. i reckon that your gut actually knows you quite well and is trying to convey something important here and perhaps this is exactly what you need to be bringing to therapy and discussing honestly with your T so you can have a better understanding of what your Ts feelings of love for you actually mean, not only for you, but for her, your therapy, and the relationship.
i personally believe the topic of love in therapy is ok to acknowledge and talk about openly and honestly, especially in regards to how intimate the therapeutic relationship can feel and become...but what needs to be clear is that the therapist is not expecting (consciously or subconsciously) to get their own needs met by this 'loving' relationship. that is where a lot of the damage and harm can come from and is what the people on reddit were trying to warn you about by sharing their experiences with you.