And you Bill, truly. You've given me a good deal to think about, my questions are merely my way of clarifying sticking points - not to argue. More like my way of asking for clarification in a way that allows it to be more clear to me.

But I can. I'm not saying that it is a healthy choice, but that's what I'm trying to figure out. Going back to the first time a landlord said, "That's why I like talking to you - you get it." I'm connecting with these people in ways they are not used to connecting with clients - or really, and in most cases, their friends.

I was a professional poker player for a quarter of a century. I had a poker school, wrote a successful book on the game - even had my own infomercial because 'you too deserve to be a winning poker player'. The acclaim that I received as well as my success was, in most cases, a result of my ability to read people - and teach others how to do so as well. My success at the tables was frequently a result or mirroring people until it became automatic. It is nearly impossible to effectively read people and not pick up on the things they aren't saying - then to mirror them they end up in an echo chamber, feel a connection to you...whether they should or not.

Never really feeling a social connection with others myself, I used this technique (and continue to do so) to navigate any type of social situation - including interactions with professionals.

Soooo, I assume - since my observations are that this person is not having these types of flexible boundaries with everyone, that I'm inadvertently inviting them to cross a boundary. Not implicitly and not that I'm actually responsible - but that it I changed my behavior - my way of interacting with people, it wouldn't happen. So, not responsible but still can make choices that would prevent it.

Absolutely. In fact, after an intermittent life of therapy, this is so different that I feel like I've never actually been in therapy before.

I cannot even play devil's advocate with a suggestion to be mindful.