It sounds like you wanted to put your request out there to him and just let it be in the room, but T is trying to get you to discuss it which is making it more complicated for you. I can understand myself feeling like that actually. I've had Ts hug me and also a T say no, but either way it's a subject so sensitive to me that it always needed to be on my terms rather than made into a massive issue before I'm ready to discuss what a hug means. That said, I can also see why your T might be keen to explore the issue especially as you've told him you won't let him know if something isn't good for you. That probably raises some questions for him and he wants to find out why you want a hug.

I know it's hard, but it sounds important to tell your T how you're feeling about how he's handling this. Do you want him to just leave the issue for now until you're ready to come back to it? Do you just want straightforward reassurance that he does give hugs if you decide you want them? I think he's being super cautious which is really good, because if you don't know what a hug means to you, it's something that could cause problems later on. It doesn't sound to me like he's a straightforward 'no' kind of T, otherwise surely he would have just said he doesn't offer touch. Many therapists don't. The fact he is willing to discuss this sounds to me like he is open to it, but wants to be sure it's not going to cause more problems for you.