It is indeed a bit odd for a T not to stand up at the end of session, at least based on my experiences with them. I never even thought about this before your post and the conversations here that followed and I assume it would not bother me whatever they do at the end of session, but virtually all of the Ts I have ever had a session with (the two I saw longer-term and the others I interviewed) always stood up at the end and walked with me to the door. May be something they learn in school, given that it is definitely not automatic human behavior. It felt natural when my Ts did it, but now thinking about it more, it's not what professionals do all the time in meetings, including myself. In most of the work meetings I attend in someone's office and when others come to see me in mine, we most frequently just thank the other person, say goodbye or something else polite, then turn to our computers to continue working while someone is leaving. So I do not believe standing up is the automatic professional behavior but, again now thinking about it... it does transmit more attention, respect and maybe even interest. I can also easily imagine that if you were not treated this way often in your life (whether in childhood or later), it might generate this need and sensitivity to it. Perhaps that's really all about it?

From all that you have shared over time about this T, I do have a very strong impression that he likes to behave and work by his personal code more than constantly adapting a lot to each client's needs - you see, one reason I like him, because I am that way myself and also love autonomy and self-directedness in others. But you certainly desire something else and probably why you keep testing/pushing him? Now I just remembered something you shared previously about your husband, your Ts perception of him... when he said something along the lines of your H having some autistic traits (hope I recall correctly)... So perhaps you are actually drawn to people that are a bit selfish and don't shower you with the attention and care of your imagination so much? But then try to get it anyway? There is also the thing you shared previously of your having a strong patterns related to male "authority figures". If I had to make a guess without knowing anything, perhaps you did not receive the attention and respect (or what you see as such) early on from those kinds of people and now you want to correct it with Ts?

You might be right that your request pushed some buttons in your T and he overreacted a bit, but here comes what I said before about the comments here: I think many people reacted similarly (myself included). A T could certainly make more efforts to not let that show but, you see, by blowing it up, you may actually learn something more useful than simply having the desire satisfied. If I were him, I would probably reconsider the request though after a discussion as it does make sense and would probably improve his professional attitude. I will now think about this myself when I have meetings with people (at least more formal meetings), so thanks for bringing it up, I've learned something cool from it! I actually do think it can make a difference. But I also agree with Artley above that it is useful for you to look at the larger picture, which you have already started when considering your behavior with other people. I would probably follow up that track more rather than focusing on the Ts defensiveness, as this type of defensiveness is something you can certainly expect from many.