Thanks sarah, rechu, and mickey!!!

I'm just now realizing the irony of my PC member name and photo of a very tragic character herself, Blanche DuBois from the Tennessee Williams' play, A Streetcar Named Desire. Poor Blanche DuBois's first husband she marries is actually gay -- she catches him with an older man at a dance they attend together -- and she blamed herself for his homosexual nature and marrying her. Then a bunch of her family members die, so she turns to alcohol and sexual promiscuity to cope with the multiple losses only to create a false persona of the woman she strives to be but isn't yet, and this is why she fails in her next two relationships with men in the play.

I think I pulled the Blanche DuBois (this should become a coined term now, in psychology relationship circles, I'll gladly take the credit!) in my 20s and 30s where I created a mask with men, where I projected the type of woman I wanted to be but wasn't (yet), so I accepted ALL the wrong men into my life, the same exact way Blanche DuBois does in the play. Now? I like who I am, and don't wear a mask.

I REFUSE to put up with the mama's boys, the passive-aggressive victims, the narcissists, the fixer uppers (I love the HGTV show but that's IT), the non-communicator (who cant express their emotional feelings or thoughts), the guy who doesn't know himself (who won't even make an effort to get to know himself b/c that's his girlfriend's job in his eyes), the two-timer, the liar, the ghoster, the chaser, the wounded-lost guy (no map you provide will guide him to his true nature, that's HIS job but he refuses to do it himself), and the loner.

Give me literature or give me death. I will not go gently into the good night. I sure as hell won't do online dating again EVER. And, I won't put up with men who don't have their act together. If that means I stay single until I shuffle off this mortal coil (against my will b/c i want to be a vampire and live forever, maybe I should date LeStat), then so be it.

I'd rather be single than stuck in an abusive relationship with a man who is so lost, even if he got naked and afraid, and followed a tv production crew back to civilization, he'd STILL be wandering around looking to blame someone else for his choices. No thanks!

Online dating: what a nightmare! Guys who lied about themselves in their online dating profiles. Guys who just wanted to have a penpal but never meet in person. Guys who wanted a phone-a-friend but never meet in person. Guys who were scary abusive types. Guys with serious mental health problems. Guys who just wanted to use me as a floatation device for their bruised egos. Who wanted to control me, hit me, put me down, lie to me, disrespect me, blame me for their behavior. Never again will I pay some website a monthly fee to connect me with men who aren't good guys.

Where is he? Not prince charming. Eww. But Mr. Right. Mr. I-like and respect you and want to compliment your life, not overtake it or try to fix or change you-guy.