I'm very hard on myself. Ofthevalley made me realize that. Like what I do, I can do better. Like things I do aren't good enough. The best people are like that tho..

But I need to find balance. I feel so tired right now. I want to learn about buddhism and philosophy.

I wish I had more energy so I could do more. Like being more curious about information. But I'm at peace knowing the truth to reality. I don't want to be at peace. I need to try new things and deal with my emotions and thoughts in healthy ways, learn, grow, rebuild myself.

I can't talk but I can write. I'd like to update my blog to recovery from negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Like.. If I can beat it.. Overcome one of the hardest struggles of lack of motivation from a real illness related to that that no one seems to understand or even cares enough about to treat or research.

To become more creative and just a better person in general. Comparing myself to who I was yesterday instead of other people. That type of thing..