Hello all,

I've been a bit lost the past few months, and I was hoping for some advice.

I'm 27yo, my partner is 21. I work in a legal firm having just finished my degree a few years ago. My girlfriend is unemployed, but just recently entered into a course in her desired field. We've been in a relationship for 13 months now, we don't live together officially, but she spends most time at my house.

When we met I was going through a particularly tough time in my career, I'd been single for about a year. I was totally enamoured by this incredibly warm, kind and caring person. It was a bit of a whirlwind romance in a lot of ways, I found it incredibly easy to spend time with her and she was so comforting to me. Before I knew it we told each other we loved each other and that was that. I can honestly say I love spending time with her more than anyone else in my life.

Unfortunately, our sex life has never been wonderful. I am very drawn to her beautiful caring nature, but not as much sexually. My partner is very pretty, but I wouldn't say I find her as physically attractive as many of the other women I've been in a relationship with. I was pretty happy to look past this though, as she is such an incredible person, and I suppose my libido was pretty low at the time anyway.

I've had quite a few girlfriends, only a few of which I've been sexually attracted too. I think this is for two reasons - firstly I was once very anxious, with a very poor sex drive, so I was more than happy to date women I didn't want to have sex with, and mostly dated those that I found interesting over those I found attractive physically. Secondly, because I was formally in pretty bad shape, and wouldn't have been a very appetising candidate regardless!

Recently though, things have changed for me. I'm in much better shape, I've received some really pretty incredible promotions and my career trajectory is really good. This brings me to my dilemma.

I find myself incredibly attracted to other women, and I think often about how much I'd like to ask them out, or try my luck. Despite trying, I don't feel very fulfilled at all having sex with my partner. I think, it would be lovely to be partnered with someone I really desire.

I honestly feel incredibly shallow for even thinking this stuff. Should I ignore this and be grateful that I have someone who loves me and I love being around? Is there any way I could or should talk about this with my partner?

Thank you in advance