Hello Kenda: What you are experiencing with your kids is not something I can speak to. (Hopefully there will be other PC members who will have some experiences or insights they can offer.) However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

You mentioned your son has ADHD. So here are links to 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on that subject:

ADHD Treatment in Children & Teens | Psych Central

ADHD Behavioral Interventions for the Home

Parenting Kids with ADHD: 16 Tips to Tackle Common Challenges

9 Surefire Strategies That Don't Work for Kids with ADHD

Parents Guide for Disciplining Kids with ADHD

https://psychcentral.com/lib/adhd-ki...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/setting...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-ways...eed-in-school/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.