Similar to starfishing's answer, my T and I talk about the feelings and coping/compensating strategies that developed at a young age, how those manifest now, whether they work and what might be better, etc.

I think the relationship does help this to work. There is a lot of shame around childhood trauma for me (and many others), so it is something that is hard to think about alone—I don't want to, it's painful, I'd rather just act like it doesn't exist. So I need another person who will ask questions and get me to think about it, with the feeling that this is helping me and not hurting/shaming me. And then being able to talk about it without being hurt by it, takes away the power somewhat.

I don't think it's possible to work with someone for a length of time without getting attached at all. But I don't think being attached is bad; it's not necessarily a huge passionate thing. For me it is just a comfortable relationship, like a friendship.