I am sorry you are in a mixed state they are horrible. This is also what my psychiatrist says I experienced on an SSRI and how I ended up with a bipolar diagnosis. I, too, kind of doubt it just because everyone else is telling me they don't see it. Regardless of your diagnosis it sounds like you aren't doing well. One option might be to try your doctor's advice and see if it helps you, even short term just to stop this episode? Another might be to get another opinion? I promise it can get better once you are out of that state although it's been a slow improvement for me over many months. Please get immediate help if you are feeling unsafe with yourself, mixed states can be quite dangerous in that way.