Some trauma victims avoid therapy even thinking about it as trauma because it's just too painful and confusing to talk about it. A lot of victims of abuse feel shame and blame themselves. They feel even talking about it would be too painful so they avoid.

Giving him some space can be helpful, especially since he has been interacting with this female friend and being creative and thinking about "something" to move forward to. She may feel "safe" for him and that's what abuse victims need, someone to feel safe around. It's good that he is interacting with her verses withdrawing. What is important for anyone trying to recover from being abused and traumatized is gaining on their personal sense of control again.

It's good that you had that talk, he needs to know he can have boundaries and space. Keep in mind that it really can take him time to regain his sense of self. That means you will need to be extra patient with him and learn to listen to his hints that he needs some space.

From what you have shared, it took him time to finally realize and admit that he is gay. It sounds like the first gay relationship he experienced was abusive so that adds even more confusion. You cannot do his healing for him, all you can do is listen and hope that he will eventually reach out for therapy so he can heal. Given the two of you also experienced a challenge when it came to living with others, that most likely was triggering for him, especially since it got so bad you both had to hide out from the others in your room.

It's nice that you got him nice things etc., but it's important you understand that doesn't mean ownership of him. Abusers tend to take away safety and OWN their victims. It's all about "control, control, control". A victim of abuse once away from the abuser may not really consciously "know" what was lost to him/her during the abuse either. That can really take time to work through, and it's very important the victim experience their personal freedom again. They don't always know HOW to say it either. It typically comes out in a request for "space" and withdrawing even talking about living separately.

It sounds like initially it was "need" and that changed to desiring space. That is typical of someone who has been abused and hurt. Often it's not even a conscious thing either.