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Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I just want you to know that I understand the place that your are in and I know how it feels to want support from someone and not get it. I’m just not sure your children should bear this brunt. I know they are adults but we are always children with our parents. They expect you to be the one to care about them.
When we are depressed and suicidal we are very self absorbed. I do not mean that in a bad way like selfish or self centered. We are thinking about our pain, our trauma, our problems. And with suicidal ideation it’s part of the deal to think about our life and if it’s worth it. With that in mind I think the responsibility you are placing on your kids isn’t the best idea. They are neither equipped nor able to support or understand you the way you need them to.
I don’t agree with them invalidating your pain or univiting you to your grand baby’s christening Because that only happens once but I do think the burden and fear they have for you is valid.
Do you think they don’t truly care about you ? Like they wouldn’t miss you if you were gone ?
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I know they care about me, I know they would miss me. I understand all those thoughts are not logical.
I suppose I have become dependant on my children as my support network, as this is how we have all been raised in my family.
You are correct, I cannot burden them with this. I will not tell them and continue to 'deal and heal' without their knowledge.
Thank you