Trigger Warning: I’m on Disability & always will be now unfortunately. I’ve not only got mental health issues as listed below. But also multiple painful physical ones too.

I’ve had 3 N.D.E.’s & we are getting to the point where we can hardly afford to live & could lose our house too that we’ve had for nearly 20 years.

I can’t do much as my husband is my Carer but when I can I really do try. I can’t even do volunteering as I’m just not well enough to.

I live in a rural coastal area which is very isolated and hours away from the city. Our children are all grown up & have left home along with many friends that have also moved a long way away. I hate it here & want to move nearer to the city.

Problem is property here has gone down whereas near the city it’s gone up a lot. My GP says I need to live closer to large medical services but nobody wants to buy a house here atm. We are literally stuck here!

There aren’t even many social events to go to. Those that they do have, we both don’t feel comfortable going to. Mainly because of socioeconomic reasons.

In other words we feel looked down upon because we don’t work. Along with all my “invisible disabilities” that nobody can see nor understands.

If it wasn’t for my husband I would have given up years ago. Problem is after years of traumatic health events with me have taken their toll on him now.

He’s also been diagnosed with Bipolar, Major Depression & Anxiety Disorder and he’s struggling too every single day. We both talk about different ways to commit suicide successfully.

It’s not because of mental illness or my physical illness atm.....it’s because of a huge lack of money. Without money we can’t survive. So that’s it in a nutshell.

Sometimes it’s so tough that we both feel like giving up literally....know what I mean? If we don’t get some help soon? I feel it’s just a matter of time until a double suicide shocks our small town.

There are no mental health services to help us out here anymore. There used to be but our Govt cut all rural mental health funding. Yet we have the highest rate of suicide in regional & rural areas than anywhere else in our country. BTW we live in Australia the not so “lucky country” anymore where our unemployment is at an all time high!

As good as it gets here, is that we get to see a visiting psychiatrist once every 5 months for half an hour & that’s it!

I’ve got to the stage where “I REALLY WANT TO DIE & SO DOES MY HUSBAND”!!!

This will be a terrible thing for my adult children & young grandchildren to deal with.

I don’t really want to do it but we have no support structures out here anymore and we are struggling financially so badly. My Carer husband is on the verge of a major breakdown right now too.

What made it worse was years ago just after we both had to leave our jobs because of my detiorting health issues, we both lost nearly all our money after the world financial crisis.

We now both have no money for us to rely on as we age. Apart from the old age pension which is no more than the disability pension that I’m on now. There’s so much more to it too.

Life has chipped far too much off of our shoulders. We’ve both begged for help but always get told “it’s too difficult” and/or “we’ve got no more funding for mental health out here” etc etc.

It’s as if these mental health professionals on the phone are saying “if you want to commit suicide....? Well then just go and do it, but don’t ring us about it”.

I’m so afraid of the psychological damage that this would do to our 2 adult children especially!

Problem is I keep really wanting to die! I haven’t been this bad for many, many years! It’s because of long term life stressors and lack of a decent lifestyle anymore.

We can’t even afford a reliable car & have spent a small fortune fixing the one we have. As out here one can’t survive without a car as there is no form of public transport out here at all. It’s so stressful driving a long way in the country never knowing when our car may break down or not? My nerves can hardly take it anymore & its making us both quite agrophobic which we’ve never been before.

We are both so overwhelmed and frightened by our bleak future....that death seems a better alternative. We are both only in our mid 50s and don’t have enough money to keep on living decently at all. We can’t find any way out no matter how hard we try.

Any ideas would be appreciated? As it may help me/us to keep on going for quite awhile longer.

My heart is broken now after finding my husband in the back room bawling his eyes out! That has truly broken me inside to see such a proud man like that now.

Lack of community, lack of humanity, lack of understanding and compassion is the main problem in western societies now. Nobody cares about anybody else especially not the Govt nor Corporations because they all just want business as usual. People just don’t count anymore because it’s all about the money!

Thank you for reading this & I appreciate any ideas that some of you may have after reading this.

Thanks again with much gratitude!