Over the last 2 weeks, T and I have watched the movie Inside Out (not sure if you've watched it or not). In it there's the part where Bing Bong sacrifices himself so that Joy can get out of the memory dump. I asked T why the memory of Bing Bong had to be sacrificed so that Joy could exist/live. She related it to a book I brought in some time ago about a group of trees. Every fall all the trees but one would shed their leaves. In the spring they would get new leaves and grow. The one held on tightly to their leaves all through the winter year after year. After many years, the other trees towered above this one tree, blocking out the sun.

I guess, at the moment, I'm seeing the talking with T about childhood as a way to dislodge the memories that are blocking out the warmth/comfort from other connections, allowing those memories to fade away so that other memories can be made, producing feelings that help us meet the needs of different parts and grow.

In the movie, while Joy is in the memory dump, she is looking at different memories she holds as precious. She looks at one specifically, scrolling it forward and backwards. As she does this, the memory goes from being a joyful memory to a sad memory and back to joyful. It helps Joy understand the purpose of sadness as a way to build the feeling of connectedness. I think for some of us, this is one area that went astray in our childhood and possibly talk therapy helps here as well.

When I first started talk therapy, I didn't believe it would work or maybe more I didn't understand how it was supposed to work. I read books on the neuroscience of psychotherapy. I believe completely in that model. A big part of it, is in the attachment/connection/interactions that make up the therapeutic relationship.

Like other's have said, people need different things in therapy and go to therapy for different reasons. Cognition level vs. Emotional level; Implicit learning vs. Explicit learning and so on.

Another thing my T has shared with me (kind of more confirmed my belief) is that we might not be able to change all my patterns, that some of them created a template so early on in my life, that they are not changeable. What we can change is our awareness that we have or are about to start a pattern, that the pattern has been triggered; how well we regulate ourselves through the pattern, how we handle being triggered; and our rebound time, how quickly we can recover or get out of the pattern.

A different therapist once asked me, so what if I have a food obsession. What stood out to me in her question is the 'so what'. I'm still trying to see how to work with the acceptance that concept rather than trying to become someone that does not have food obsessions. My point here is that sometimes it's more like throwing poo at the waterfall and seeing what sticks. We are individuals and what makes an impression on us is different from person to person - the more you talk, the more opportunity you have for those types of things to be thrown and for one (or more) to stick.

*my 2 cents