~nods~ inadvertently influencing but not responsible for their reactions...

And in addition, it will give me ample opportunities to practice being gentle with myself - one of my biggest challenges.

I checked in to my neurologists office on Wednesday. I had never been there before - it was my first visit. I didn't pay close enough attention to my interactions with the woman checking me in to identify the initial moment boundaries began to be blurred but at one point she reached across the counter to take both my hands into hers, tears in her eyes and announced that God sent me to her today. That sort of reaction is not uncommon, but it's becoming increasingly uncomfortable. However, I DID catch the beginning of the next one....although not in time to make a mindful choice - it was knee-jerk.

Another woman at the counter was explaining that they wouldn't be able to perform the requested test (nerve conduction test) on her daughter today because her appointment didn't allow sufficient time. The mother became increasingly distraught and desperate as she tried everything she could think of to negotiate a different outcome to no avail, eventually breaking down sobbing as her husband tried to console her. The poor women behind the counter stayed professional but it was obvious that she was beat up by the exchange. She clearly cared but her hands were tied. After the couple left the room, I went up to offer some words of encouragement and thank her for caring professionalism and posited that she might just have the toughest job in the building if that exchange was any indication.

I have an appointment in three months. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that both will remember my name when I go back. That was not my intention...but it is a normal beginning.